Assassin: The Final Showdown

Justin Carpenter, IS Analyst

Justin Carpenter, IS Analyst

For six straight days, I became a completely different person. We all did. I witnessed levels of “creepy” and “paranoid” that I didn’t know were even possible before, and it felt awesome. Of course, I could only be talking about Bronto Assassin and the week of fun, and hell, that goes along with it.

The premise was simple. Everyone in the office gets a Nerf gun, two darts, and the name of a target. Each Bronto’s mission, should they choose to accept it, was to take out a target and then proceed by taking out that person’s target. The game continued like that until there were only a select few true killers left to compete in a Battle Royale cage match.

Assasin_Photo2I accepted the mission, and by the skin of my teeth with a ton of luck, I survived until the bitter end. One overweight guy wearing an American flag onesie was able to emerge victorious over 162 other Brontos as the last man standing.Assasin_Photo3

This story isn’t about me though. It’s about courage, a will to survive, and the utter amusement of chasing coworkers around while we should have all been working. Bronto really is an incredible place to work. It values people’s individuality and ability to contribute to the greater good. The workforce is as diverse, capable and awesome as you could imagine. Add to that a willingness to shoot each other in the back with a Nerf dart for mere recognition as the one true Bronto Assassin, and we knew things were going to get real.

They got so real, in fact, that chasing your coworkers around the campus, following people to the restroom, their cars, and in some extreme cases, to their residence, quickly became the norm.


No matter how it turned out, I was extremely grateful for the experience. Bronto Assassin, by its very nature, allowed us all to come together. We were able to exploit reflect on the things we already knew about our friends and investigate learn new personal details about Brontos we didn’t already know, such as their address, marital status, what their house looks like, and the fact that they drive a silver Ford Fusion and like the Tigers. You know, really useful stuff that builds strong friendships. It also provided valuable learning experiences, such as how vulnerable we were while walking to the restroom or our cars, and how quickly your friends may turn on you for some SuiteAcheiver Points.

Bronto Assassin was six days of terror, humility and hilarity that we look forward to every year. Having played the game this year, I think we look forward to the next chance we get to put on our stalker hat and really “get to know” our fellow Brontos.


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