Priceline.com sent the (near perfect) email a few weeks ago. They sent me an email that linked to a survey based on my recent trip to Salt Lake City, Utah.
On May 8th, the “Egencia Team” (aka, “Egencia”) tried a different approach in hopes that I’d complete their survey. Priceline accomplished their goal as I “converted” by completing the survey. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for Egencia. I never made it past the open. Here’s why:
For a reference point, please read about why the Priceline.com email was timely, targeted and relevant.
Egencia had good intentions but failed in the execution. Let’s start at the top (click image below to enlarge in new tab/window).
1. Images Off:
One of the first questions you should ask yourself when designing an HTML email should be, how does it render with images off? The Egencia email with images off was the one part they effectively executed on. Unfortunately, that is where the praise ends.
2. From Name/Subject Line:
As alluded to in the opening paragraph, why not levearge the brand? Egencia should have used “Egencia” instead of “Egencia Team.” Keep that from name simple! The subject line gave me some indication of what the email would be about. I assumed it was a survey. But many of us loathe surveys, so they may have prevented a large segment from even opening. Also, remember the keys to a good subject line (slides 23-26). Where is that sense of urgency? What’s in it for me?
3. Body Part I - Above the Fold/Top:
“Dear Business Traveler
Huh? For those that read this blog with regularity, you know that I’ve never been a fan of first name personalization, but in this case, I believe that calling me a “business traveler” is worse than just using my name. Business traveler just feels so formal and cold. Also, where is that preheader?
4. Body Part II - Above the Fold/Middle:
“We trust your recent trip…”
My recent trip to where? When? This is the perfect opportunity to personalize this email based on where/when I traveled. Egencia has this information. Use it!
“Your feedback is important and we hope you’ll share your thoughts…”
I would, but what is in it for me? How long will it take? It’s “short” but what does short mean? 3 or 15 questions? 5 or 15 minutes? Set proper expectations and make it worth my time.
5. Body Part III - Above the Fold/Bottom:
“Just click this link to begin…”
While this is designed well for images off (it’s a link), Egencia missed an opportunity here. If they really want me to complete the survey, provide a few options. Why not a link and a bulletproof button? Or how about a few links. With more chances to access the survey, the more likely I am to complete.
Egencia is an Expedia product. I’ve raved about Expedia (dot coooooom) and their great usage of preheaders in the past (Fast forward to 3:27). Also, as you know, this blog normally focuses on the positive. It highlights the good in email marketing - the examples of sound practices. However, once in awhile, I believe it is important to detail an email that does not work in hopes that your team will not fall into the same trap. Egencia Team: If you are listening, we’d love to hear your thoughts on this critique.
DJ Waldow
Director of Best Practices & Deliverability at Bronto
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for your feedback on our e-mail. Egencia views traveler feedback as incredibly important, and we always appreciate hearing ways in which we can improve. Regarding personalization, we do personalize the majority of our customer communications. In some cases, like this survey, we choose not to personalize to drive more truthful responses. We have found that people can be less forthcoming with honest feedback if they don’t think the survey is anonymous, and we want to make sure our travelers feel comfortable providing open feedback. Thank you again for your thoughts. We will take them into consideration for future e-mails.
Alan: Nothing gets me more pumped then when a company listens (and responds) to what others are saying/writing about them. IMHO, it speaks volumes to what matters most - your brand.
Please let me know if you’d like to continue this conversation offline.
*Bronto uses Egencia - we love the service. Just booked a flight/hotel for trip to Chicago next week.
DJ Waldow
Director of Best Practices & Deliverability at Bronto